Memorial

So Saturday was the big memorial service for Dad. Mom, Craig and I arrived at the church about an hour before the service, and mom parked herself in the kitchen at the Red House to set up the reception while Craig and I provided tech support at the church itself, setting up everything that was needed for the slideshow. My accompanist who was doubling as the service organist was there practicing, and he helped us to move the pulpit and the chairs into the back room so everything was set up the way mom wanted it. I let Craig set up the rest of our equipment while I got out my violin for a quick practice.

Marie had come in about forty minutes early, and I pointed her to the Red House when she asked for a bathroom. When she failed to reappear, I realized mom had roped her into kitchen duty. Snaric showed up just as I finished tightening my bow, and I was so excited to see him that I ran the length of the church before I realized I hadn't put the instrument down. Not wanting to put it on the floor, I bear-hugged him anyway and tried not to whack him in the head with it.

Theoretically I knew the guest list for the service, but in all the frenzy I hadn't bothered to remember just how many people from my past were showing up. Fortunately they were all good surprises when I spotted them, and all received hugs and "Oh my god I haven't seen you in so long!" Mom's neighbor Carolyn, my second violin teacher Juliana, my grade-school teacher Linda, and Caroline's mom and Dad, Will and Deborah, who separated several years ago but are still civil to each other. I haven't heard a thing from Caroline in years, and I still miss her. When her mom informed me that she was no longer three thousand miles away and was in fact only one state over, I just about jumped up and down in excitement. I have to find her before she disappears again.

Anyway, the service itself was absolutely perfect. While some might say that Mom took on too much of the work herself, that's just the way she operates (kinda like me...hm...), and she did a beautiful job. She even managed to say everything she wanted to say without breaking down, something I wouldn't even have attempted. As I said to someone afterwards, it's nice to have a fallback that doesn't look like a fallback, so I didn't have to talk. Uncle Paul, uncle Steve, and dad's friend John shared stories about him, the Freemasons did their traditional service, and I played Pachelbel's Canon and Gigue in D with Dan.

Struggling with the sheet music, I managed to miss a few notes, but I'm good at catching up again without making any accompanying musicians wait for me - a talent all orchestral players are forced to learn, and fast. I wasn't too worried about the mistakes, but I was still surprised at the number of people who came up to me afterwards with comments such as, "That was so beautiful! You play so well!" The first one was Marie; she was sitting behind me, and when I sat back down she whispered, "Wow, I didn't know you could do that." Most of my college friends, with the exception of Snaric, have never heard me play anything at all.

By the time the reception started, I had the full-body shakes from lack of food, and I headed straight for the table and started stuffing my face. It was a whirlwind of talking and food, greeting people who were completely unfamiliar but who apparently remembered me. "We met you when you were this tall!" they said, holding a hand three feet off the floor and smiling inanely.

Great, and who are you again?

Marie eventually took off to meet up with her boyfriend Dan, not the same Dan who played the piano and the organ, after helping us to take down our stuff and put the church back together. Snaric followed me and Craig to Colleen's house where the family was gathering, then took off when the party moved to Mom's place. There was more food and more family craziness, and by the time everyone took off I was exhausted. All-in-all, though, the day was so much better than I had anticipated.